A Lost Generation
Wednesday night I attended my first service at Prince of Peace Lutheran Church where Shay works. It was a Lenten service. Besides being bored out of my mind by a traditional service rich with Christianese that sounds so foreign and fake even to my clergy ears, I could not help but notice the absence of a generation. It seemed like anybody under the age of thirty that did not have to be there was not there. Where has today's church lost this emerging generation, and what can we do to re-claim it?
I see a picture of the church at the end of Acts 2. "They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved." (Acts 2:42-47)
This is a picture of a "fellowship". It is the entire body of believers in the early church. There are a few key things that I notice:
One - "All the believers were together and had everything in common". This is a far cry from the church that we see today. There are programs for the elderly, student ministries, emergent services, children's education programs, modern services, post-modern services, singles groups, young marrieds groups, middle aged groups, and on and on and on. We can guarantee that within this Acts 2 community there were teenagers who did not understand the adults and vice versa - yet they still were "devoted... to the fellowship." They learned from one another. They all sought the teaching of the apostles - because the teaching was that of Jesus Christ - not the kind of topical teaching that we come across today.
Two - they had no church building. They met daily in the temple courts. This is not like hanging out in the church narthex every day - the temple courts was the hub of society in Jerusalem. It would be like meeting downtown in today's culture. Furthermore, when they met privately, it was in one another's homes. The church was the body of believers - not a building that they met in.
Three - they "had everything in common". This was essential because they were focused on the core of their beings. The centrality of their identity came from Jesus Christ and his involvement in their lives - not from their doctrines, denominations, or beliefs about this or that. To say that they never had disagreements would be foolish - they were human. However I believe that this passage implies that they overlooked their differences and focused on the all important roots of their identity - in which they "had everything in common."
Four - "the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved." In the church culture that I work in we so often focus on numbers. It is easy for me to claim that I am running a successful program due to it's growth from four to twenty-five in nine months. But I would be doing a dishonor to the cross to claim credit for the growth. It is not me. I am merely the messenger, sent by God, qualified by God, and empowered by God reach a small contingent of students in this generation. The Lord is who adds to our numbers - not us, not our programs, and not our abilities.
And so how have we lost this community?
We have moved from teaching Jesus Christ to teaching biblical topics. Now - don't get me wrong - this is not a bad thing. Topical teaching is a helpful element in the spiritual journey and education of Christians. However, it is not the road to our salvation, and it is not the definition of our core identities. When we begin teaching on the classical divisive elements of the faith, whether it be drinking, dancing, baptism, or whatever other demoninational differences we can come up with, we lose focus on the core definitions of our identity to debate our differences.
Furthermore, with this focus on topical teaching, what is relevant for one generation is not relevant for another. A high school student is not interested in "How To Manage Your Portfolio from a Biblical Perspective". Nor is a middle-aged businessman interested in "Peer-Pressure: How Should We Respond?" Churches often gear their lectionaries to the demographics that are in attendance and thus thwart the involvement of generations that have no interest in that particular generation.
Secondly, we are in the middle of a cultural paradigm-shift. This generation often labeled as the "emerging" generation is not interested in doing things the way their parents did things. The cookie cutter "seeker-sensitive" services are no longer cutting it. This generation longs to be involved with a community that sees faith, rather than learns it. They want knowledge poured into their hearts rather than their heads.
So how must we respond?
I believe that the generational groups are a good thing when in context of a larger community of believers. High school students need to know how to respond to peer pressure. They also need fellowship and community with individuals their own age. However, unless we return to the community made up of all generations, this "emerging" generation will simply turn into what it is we despise already - a generation stuck in doing things their own way, not taking into account the greater community of believers.
We must remember that we as believers have everything in common. What we do not have in common gives flavor to the individual churches scattered around town - from the styles of worship to the dynamics of an individual community. But if we continue to get hung up by our disagreements that do not matter in an eternal perspective then we will never re-capture the Acts 2 community church that we were designed to live in.
Home
I'm in Minnesota.
Again.
"You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of the sudden even though you have some place where you can put your stuff that idea of home is gone... You'll see when you move out it just sort of happens one day one day and it's just gone. And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't exist. I mean it's like this right of passage, you know. You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for you kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it... when I'm with you I feel so safe - like I'm home." -
Garden State I'm home.
The First Day of the Rest of My Life
I left Colorado Sunday night beginning an Odyssey. 1000 miles, 4 states, thirteen and a half hours in a truck with a smelly 80 pound Labrador. I could not help but notice the symbolism in the road trip as I enjoyed the first day of the rest of my life.
I left a love behind. As I drove east on Highway 76 Sunday night, I sadly watched the Eastern Slope of the Rockies fade below the horizon. I absolutely love Colorado. But the love of Colorado is something that I am sacrificing for the woman that I desire to spend the rest of my life with. I had always thought that if I met somebody long distance that she would be coming to Colorado - I was wrong, and that is okay - I WANT to be in Minnesota because Shay is in Minnesota.
Nebraska stunk. When 76 turned into 80, it smelled for 5 minutes... then ten, then twenty. I'm looking in the back seat saying, "Jake! Did you take a dump back there?!?" I mean, it was awful. Not like driving past a smelly farm. Two hours worth of stink. And I'm not sure if I had just gotten used to it or if it had actually gone away!
I slept in the back of my truck. It was humble accomodations, but I was very warm and comfortable. Early in the morning I woke to a beautiful sunrise over the plains - something I had never seen before. Every sunrise I had ever seen had mountains involved - and the vastness and beauty of this sunrise was unlike any I had ever seen before. Not the most beautiful, but completely different - and I liked it.
In Iowa I drove under an overpass headed north into Minnesota. On the left side of the overpass on the downhill slope to the highway level was a dead black cow. Are you kidding me? I laughed very much out loud. What the heck? This was between the highway and the on-ramp! Did the meadow Mafia dump a body from last night's hit? What in the world is a cow doing dead on the side of the freeway?
I proposed in her office. Not exactly the most romantic of places - but it was where I wanted to propose. I want to make the mundane memorable - turn our normal lives into something beautiful and romantic. I am inviting her into my life, and asking to join hers. That is the adventure. That is the beauty. In this journey we will make sacrifices, we will pass THROUGH sections that stink, we will live modestly, we will see beauty unlike we have ever seen before. We will experience randomness together. We will be. I am the luckiest man alive.
Moment of a Lifetime
Thank you Mary, for being there with camera to catch this moment.
The Story
So the story goes a little like this - I left Colorado Springs at 6:30pm local time with the intentions of driving out here for valentines day, likely proposing. It was quite a weird feeling - I felt like I was beginning my own Odyssey and for some weird reason it involved Nebraska and Iowa. So I drive into the morning, crash in the back of the truck for a few hours, watch a sunrise over the great Midwestern plains, and keep driving.
Now, at 9am I get a text message from Shay - "You're on your way out here, aren't you?" I'm like, holy freakin crap!! The biggest slip I had was the night before when I was talking to the gas station attendant. He was going to play poker - and I said, with Shay on the phone, "Y'all have any casinos out here or you going to somebody's house?" a question I don't need to ask anywhere in Colorado or west thereof. She didn't get that part of the story. Yet, through woman's intuition and the half-lies that I had been coming up with, she woke up with a feeling - and I got pissed. A month's in planning and the best element (of surprise) is blown. Katie can attest to this one - I came very close to abandoning my plan of proposal. However, I convinced her that she needed to be in her office for a delivery, and I went along with my plan (even though deep inside she still knew).
First step of plan was to get the office staff involved. The ladies were of course all over it. Pastor Jim is "the diverter", then Mary was the "flower deliverer", and I forgot the rest of the roles... Anyways, I pick up some of Shay's favorite flowers, show up at the church, Jim's in Shay's office "meeting", Mary heads back with her "Valentine's Day Delivery." Comes with a card. I bought this card almost eight years ago for the purpose of proposing - says all sorts of sweet things and basically puts into beautiful language why I love her. At the end of the card, there's like an interior back page - I wrote "STOP! Before you turn this page, call me!" She missed that part, didn't read the card, accidentally turned to the last page that said "Will You Marry Me?!?" I don't know this until well after, so when she calls and I'm sitting outside her office, I'm a little surprised why she's so quiet - like she's in a state of shock. I'm thinking to myself, if a valentines day delivery did this much, what is this proposal about to do? So I play dumb to further sell that she just got a flower delivery, she's sitting there thinking that I'm going to propose over the phone, I say turn the page, I walk in, she freaks (not expecting to see me), then proceeds to hide under her desk. Hehehehe. I get on a knee, pull out a ring, propose, she's crying, I'm crying, she says yes, secretary got it all on camera, and we're quite extremely stoked! We've been looking at each other, wiggling toes... It's quite surreal!
I had two other surprises for her too. One, the stone is the stone that my father gave to my mother on her engagement ring - so there's a pretty amazing significance there, especially if you know my story. Two, I bought her a plane ticket that departs Denver Sunday morning! Yay! It'll be fun kidnapping her and taking her on a road trip!
Guess What?!?
I'm engaged! More details to follow...
The Christian Network
I love it. I received a comment from
Tara yesterday. I have no idea who Tara is, but I liked what she had to say. Tara's blog linked to
Amy's blog, who linked to
Angela's blog, who I met at Youth Specialties in Atlanta this past November. It's fun seeing the manifestation of our unification in one spirit.
Vulnerability and the Art of Being Wrong
At what point are we too open with our lives? What aspects of our lives do we keep private and at what levels, if any? When is it "inappropriate" to share thoughts, desires, and dreams?
I have been silent for much of the past week because everything I want to talk about I can't. And other than for hilarious pictures of cats playing in the street, I try not to subject you to surface level bull crap on this blog. If you have been reading for any extended period of time you know how highly I value authenticity and vulnerability within individuals in community.
So something struck me today. Somebody I respect greatly said randomly that before he and his wife were engaged, he had only told a precious few people about his plans. They are now married with an awesome relationship. Then there's me on the other end of the spectrum - writing about my intentions to marry Shay on the internet where anybody can find my personal thoughts through a simple Google search. I get at least one hit a week from somebody completely random stumbling in through a search engine. His reasoning is that if he was wrong, he did not want to create weirdness. My reasoning is that I don't necessarily care if I am wrong. Could I possibly be wrong? Absolutely. Do I think I am wrong? Nope. But the bottom line is that I don't KNOW what is going to happen by the time that I finish this post.
I live by a paradigm that I am going to be who I am right now. Presently the most dominant factor in my life is this adventure with Shay. If you are in my house you are going to hear about her, see the ring, and learn about all of that because
this is much of who I am right now. If I am wrong I am going to look like an idiot. If I am wrong I am not going to care about how I look because I am going to be concerned about how I am feeling. What I am feeling dominates much of my reality. Meyers-Briggs told me that I am an ENFP, informing me that I am a feeler and a perceiver. Perhaps that is where I go wrong? I put too much weight and value on my feeling and emotions rather than weighing them with reality? Or is that previous statement where I
am going wrong? The idea that I need to synthesize what I think, feel, perceive, and understand into a nice, neat package presentable to the public?
Where is the line we draw? What influence does my being a Christian leader have on all this? Is it more right to be reserved and cautious, waiting to be
sure before being "vulnerable"? Or is is more right to think and feel openly, vulnerable to hurt and public humiliation when being wrong? Is there a balance, a proper meeting place somewhere in the middle? Is there no right answer? Is being who I am, being open and vulnerable and sometimes wrong right for me, while being reserved and cautious and strategic with emotions right for someone else? I really have no idea. When is it wise to be discerning in what you share with an individual, and when is it wise to be completely open and unreserved with an individual?
I really would like to hear your thoughts on this one. If you know me well enough, I would love to hear direct feedback. How has my openness been a blessing or a point of frustration in your life? If you do not know me well enough, let's talk generalities. At what point is an individual right or wrong in how much of their personal thoughts and emotions are open and public? In what sorts of contexts is it more or less right?
Come - join the conversation. What are your thoughts?
Go Ahead... It's okay.. laugh.
Poker Nights and Community
"You are a child of God."
"What the f*** does that mean?"
Huh. That's funny. This was a dialogue between two of my roommates last night over a long game of poker in the basement. I love these small poker nights not for the cards or laughs, but for the intense conversations that occur as a result of close friends sitting around a table for hours on end, influenced by the angry sounds of Nickelback and the elixirs of Captain Morgan. These nights transcend anything poker and hit straight to the heart of our individual needs for community. On these nights we open up as a group of dudes. We are real with each other. We are vulnerable with each other. We laugh. We cry. We are us.
"Fine speech. Now what?"
"Just be yourselves."
That's the root of why we are so deeply moved by these evenings. In the middle of a discussion on theology and identity somebody can say "What the f*** does that mean?" to the classic church cliche of "You are a child of God." That cracks me up just thinking about. Can you imagine the look on "Sister Grey Hair Sunday School Teacher's Face" if asked that question by one of her students? Now granted, I'm not exactly going to say that to one of my students when they give me a Sunday school answer to some tough question - but how do we be the catalyst to a culture where it is okay to be ourselves? What is it about those basement nights that lets individuals, myself included, feel comfortable to open up? And it has to be something greater than the Captain Morgan.
Every Thursday night is our traditional poker night. We usually end up having about a dozen of us playing. The core of the group consists of 4 missionaries, a youth pastor, a church intern, and the guy on the couch. However, some of the regulars are not who you'd expect in a small social setting with six full time ministers. Most are Christian, but not all. One is the ex-wife and single mother of two kids of one of my roommates. She bring both kids every Thursday night. Another has struggles with homosexuality - and brought a "buddy" this past Thursday night. And of the many people who have ever walked through our door - none have ever felt unwelcome. In this house they are loved for the individuals that they are. They are loved as the children of God that they are. They are free to bring their struggles with them. They are free to say, "What the f*** does that mean?" when they don't know. They are free to enter into community - where it is okay to be who they are, where they don't have to be thespians on the stage of life, and where they can be loved simply because they are.
Freezing the Balls off a Brass Monkey
It was necessary to keep a good supply of canon balls near the cannon on war ships. But how to prevent them from rolling about the deck was the problem. The best storage method devised was to stack them as a square based pyramid, with one ball on top, resting on four, resting on nine, which rested on sixteen. Thus, a supply of 30 cannon balls could be stacked in a small area right next to the cannon.
There was only one problem -- how to prevent the bottom layer from sliding or rolling from under the others. The solution was a metal plate with 16 round indentations, called a Monkey. But if this plate was made of iron, the iron balls would quickly rust to it. The solution to the rusting problem was to make Brass Monkeys.
Few landlubbers realize that brass contracts much more and much faster than iron when chilled. Consequently, when the temperature dropped too far, the brass indentations would shrink so much that the iron cannon balls would come right off the monkey. Thus, it was quite literally, cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey. And all this time, you thought that was a vulgar expression, didn't you?
Pics from last weekend
Enjoy!
Dodgeball: In Schools? No. At Church? Yes!
I recently stumbled across this
article about a dodgeball lawsuit. Yes, I am serious. Apparently dodgeball is "unfair, exclusionary, and warlike for school-age youngsters" and has already been banned at "some schools in Maine, Maryland, New York, Virginia, Texas, Massachusetts and Utah." Even the Texans are anti-dodgeball. Hmmph. Lets look further.
This cracks me up. I did a google search for "Youth Group Dodgeball" and
this was my first hit. The high school youth group webpage at the church I used to work at. They're starting a dodgeball league and apparently the students are very excited about this.
Shay's area churches are also starting a dodgeball league within youth groups.
Last time I checked youth groups did not encourage "unfair, exclusionary, and warlike" behaviors in their students. However this seems to be the judgment of many wise school district officials.
Who's in the wrong? Anybody else besides me find this trend amusing, schools going one way and youth groups going the opposite in regards to the same activity? What do you think?
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