Vulnerability and the Art of Being Wrong
At what point are we too open with our lives? What aspects of our lives do we keep private and at what levels, if any? When is it "inappropriate" to share thoughts, desires, and dreams?I have been silent for much of the past week because everything I want to talk about I can't. And other than for hilarious pictures of cats playing in the street, I try not to subject you to surface level bull crap on this blog. If you have been reading for any extended period of time you know how highly I value authenticity and vulnerability within individuals in community.
So something struck me today. Somebody I respect greatly said randomly that before he and his wife were engaged, he had only told a precious few people about his plans. They are now married with an awesome relationship. Then there's me on the other end of the spectrum - writing about my intentions to marry Shay on the internet where anybody can find my personal thoughts through a simple Google search. I get at least one hit a week from somebody completely random stumbling in through a search engine. His reasoning is that if he was wrong, he did not want to create weirdness. My reasoning is that I don't necessarily care if I am wrong. Could I possibly be wrong? Absolutely. Do I think I am wrong? Nope. But the bottom line is that I don't KNOW what is going to happen by the time that I finish this post.
I live by a paradigm that I am going to be who I am right now. Presently the most dominant factor in my life is this adventure with Shay. If you are in my house you are going to hear about her, see the ring, and learn about all of that because this is much of who I am right now. If I am wrong I am going to look like an idiot. If I am wrong I am not going to care about how I look because I am going to be concerned about how I am feeling. What I am feeling dominates much of my reality. Meyers-Briggs told me that I am an ENFP, informing me that I am a feeler and a perceiver. Perhaps that is where I go wrong? I put too much weight and value on my feeling and emotions rather than weighing them with reality? Or is that previous statement where I am going wrong? The idea that I need to synthesize what I think, feel, perceive, and understand into a nice, neat package presentable to the public?
Where is the line we draw? What influence does my being a Christian leader have on all this? Is it more right to be reserved and cautious, waiting to be sure before being "vulnerable"? Or is is more right to think and feel openly, vulnerable to hurt and public humiliation when being wrong? Is there a balance, a proper meeting place somewhere in the middle? Is there no right answer? Is being who I am, being open and vulnerable and sometimes wrong right for me, while being reserved and cautious and strategic with emotions right for someone else? I really have no idea. When is it wise to be discerning in what you share with an individual, and when is it wise to be completely open and unreserved with an individual?
I really would like to hear your thoughts on this one. If you know me well enough, I would love to hear direct feedback. How has my openness been a blessing or a point of frustration in your life? If you do not know me well enough, let's talk generalities. At what point is an individual right or wrong in how much of their personal thoughts and emotions are open and public? In what sorts of contexts is it more or less right?
Come - join the conversation. What are your thoughts?
posted by Devo @ 3:57 PM
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